girly-fanatic:

reichenbackdatassup:

wow my brother was telling me this joke and he said

"if you’re fighting with a woman and she pulls a knife on you, just pull out the bread and cheese and meat and her womanly instincts will kick in and she’ll just make you a sandwich"

then all of a sudden our mom emerges from the kitchen holding a huge ass knife and she approaches my brother asking “sorry what was that?” and he started screaming

100000000 points to mom.

(Source: spockdarlin, via mushroomvision)

nyks-asylum asked:

how can u make your legs so skinny?

So Long, and Thanks For All the Fish. Answer:

acidic-child:

I actually wish they were skinnier :c

skydiiver:

One night, as a kid, I had a dream that I was holding on to the bottom of an airplane, because I was a badass superhero. Follow your dreams. #skydive #skydiving #sky #skyvan #humanflight #dream #gopro #hero3 #footmount #nike #redbull #instagood #beautiful #arizona #goprooftheday #photooftheday #goprophotography_

skydiiver:

One night, as a kid, I had a dream that I was holding on to the bottom of an airplane, because I was a badass superhero. Follow your dreams. #skydive #skydiving #sky #skyvan #humanflight #dream #gopro #hero3 #footmount #nike #redbull #instagood #beautiful #arizona #goprooftheday #photooftheday #goprophotography_

(via sandln)